The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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