My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
