No more Irish car bombs ever.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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