I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
