we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Found your dick twin last night
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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