I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
