ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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