she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
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