Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize