She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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