dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
