they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
