Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
