I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
