a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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