break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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