Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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