Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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