I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
