It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Watching her eat just hurts me
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
