I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
