i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So vagazzling was a success
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
