yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
