BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
