i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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