The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
