whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
