O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
