highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize