i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
