Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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