Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Naked. naked and bneed help.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
soo... how was my night?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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