I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
