Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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