i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
