and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You may now shotgun with the bride
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
