a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize