Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
