Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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