Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
