i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
