I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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