There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize