Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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