Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
last night I used snow as a chaser
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