no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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