In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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