it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
