I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So many bounce houses so little time
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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