Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
