think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
