I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize