Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
