Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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