I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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