I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
