I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
