This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
