Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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