I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
