Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
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I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize