Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
